From your friendly vet staff

Dear Pet Owner,
We realize that you for the most part love your pets and want to do what's best for them so we'd like to give you a few tips.
For today we'll talk about drugs dear pet owner. Please, if you think your dog got into your stash, tell us. Honestly the majority of the people who work at animal hospitals don't care if you smoke, or what you smoke for that matter. We just want to know what could be wrong with your pet. We aren't going to freak out, we aren't gonna call the cops, we'll just have a better idea of how to treat your pet. There are so many different things that can be wrong with an animal, and since they can't talk and tell us what hurts they depend on you, their beloved owner, to intercede for them, if you aren't up front with us we're going to be going in blind, and that generally gets expensive.
A few months ago we had a dog that got into a mushroom chocolate bar, true we joked about the owner after he left, but we also remembered him and his dog (and generally if we remember you, we're nicer to you *unless we remember you cuz you were an asshole*)
So lesson learned today is? Keep your dog out of your weed, tell us if they get into it, and be memorable as an awesome client.
THE END